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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

My thoughts on Dale Jr.'s love life, Jeff Gordon's mustache and more

Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s marital status Dale Jr. is not getting married. Despite tabloid reports that he would marry his longtime girlfriend, he said this week that is false.
So calm down ladies, he still might be yours one day.
Will NASCAR's most eligible dude ever tie the knot? Most likely ... though it took his dad a few tries to figure it out, so maybe he's just being cautious.
Or maybe he's like Tony Stewart -- trying to avoid taking on any "dead weight" that might impede his career -- and will be the lifelong bachelor.
My advice -- take the plunge Dale, but sign a pre-nup.

Gordon's stache
Jeff Gordon is growing back his mustache. Yes, the scary porn mustache from 1992. ... I'm already having nightmares at what this might look like. Parents, keep your kids away from the scary looking man in the 24 car.

But hey, if it's going to bring him good luck and get him a fifth title, maybe it'll be a retro look that sticks.

His fellow drivers weighed in on the return of Gordon's stache.

"I'm just impressed," Johnson added. "I wasn't sure he had the stones to follow this through, and he's doing it gray and all. He's older now. His mustache is going to be more defined and he might not be so porn-stache. It might be more of a Tom Selleck."

Tony Stewart had a different take.

"He's got to grow back the eyebrows to match it, too. It was kind of a matching set."

'Most Popular Driver' Finalists named (aka Dale the winner and nine other losers):
The 10 finalists for Most Popular Driver are: Kyle Busch, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Carl Edwards, Jeff Gordon, Kevin Harvick, Jimmie Johnson, Kasey Kahne, Matt Kenseth, Bobby Labonte and Tony Stewart. Fans now have 10 race weeks to cast their vote once a day at to determine the winner from the final 10 drivers. Voting will conclude Nov. 18.

But let's just call it like it is.
Mr. Dale Earnhardt Jr. will win, as always, unless he all of a sudden goes crazy and starts flashing people in the streets of Charlotte and then pulls out a gun and shooting an automatic weapon in the air. Even then, he'd probably still win. The dude is that popular.


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